Release Date April 20th, 2026
Format CD/LP/Digital
Genre Doom/Sludge Metal
Origin Italy
Forged in 2009 by veterans of the Turin hardcore scene, Tons dumped the high-speed thrashing of their previous projects to rot in a ditch, opting instead for a slow, suffocating crawl. These Italians have spent over a decade worshiping at the altar of the riff, evolving from their 2012 debut "Musineè Doom Session, Volume 1" into a force of nature that shares stages with heavyweights like Bongzilla. Now, with a fresh face behind the drum kit, the four-piece returns to drop another payload of weed-obsessed sludge on the masses.
"Stoned Villains" is exactly what you expect from a band which probably has more resin in their lungs than oxygen. It’s a swampy, feedback-drenched trip that keeps its boots planted firmly in the '90s sludge playbook. The guitars are thick enough to choke a horse, and Gingerzilla’s vocals sound like someone gargling broken glass and bong water. It’s got that specific Turin flavor, raw, hateful, and completely uninterested in being your friend. They just want to drown you in a sea of low-end frequencies.
The songwriting here leans heavily on the irony of their situation. Songs like "The Big Bong Theory" and "Darth Vaper" prove that while the music is heavy enough to collapse a lung, the band is mostly just having a laugh. This isn't high art; it's a collection of riffs designed for people who think a salad is just something you put in a pipe. The rhythm section provides a steady, thumping heartbeat that keeps the whole mess from falling apart, even when the guitars start to feedback into oblivion.
While the attitude is there, the record does start to blend together after a while. If you’ve heard one slow, sulfurous riff, you’ve heard a lot of what "Stoned Villains" has to offer. The production by Danilo Dano Battocchio is clear enough to hear the spit hitting the microphone, but it lacks that extra bit of filth that makes the truly legendary sludge records stand out. It’s a decent enough soundtrack for a weekend spent on the couch, but it might not be the one you reach for when you want something truly life-changing.
At the end of the day, Tons stays true to their roots. They play the kind of music that makes your neighbors call the cops, and they do it with a smirk. It’s a greasy, unrefined journey through the haze of the Italian underground. It won't win any awards for originality, but if you need something to rattle the windows while you're losing your mind in a cloud of smoke, this will do the trick. It's a shrug and a middle finger to anything resembling a trend.
Damage done @: 6.0
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